Father to the fatherless

Lately my life has been in a change mode. Ever since I gave my life to Christ and answered His call for me I have been changing. We all change in life but usually its a change in a direction we want to change in... like becoming a doctor or training for something. I feel like in the last 5 years or so I've been changing in ways I dont really necessarily want to change in, but in ways God would want me to change in.

Currently the change has been by being a father to people who lack in parentals. I know all of us have hang ups... well most of America, have hang ups about the way they were raised. Sometimes where I work its hard to decipher the difference. Whether kids are just being kids or if really their parents are screwed up.

God has put me in a new place in my life. The last change that was similar to this was before I got married. Where God turned my heart to truly being there for youth that came across my path. Whether that was talking, or djing or painting murals. Whatever I could do to reach out to the younger generation I was trying to do it. To where now about 80% of my time, focus and thought life are in this direction.

Over the last year or two God has redirected my lifestyle to more of a fathering role to youth. This is coming a bit strange because I am about 27 years old, married, but with no kids of my own. Since the day I got married, my wife and I have been helping with a family and actually taking care of their 5 kids for months at a time. Although, this was going on the whole "being a father" side never really kicked in. Not until a young man confided in me about some life long struggles he had been going through. Through this God started working something around me that was unfelt inside. The role of being a "father" to children and youth.

This idea seems strange still to me but I know I'm doing God's will because of the troubles that have come. And not necessarily Satanic attacks. But hardships in a sense from other believers. God has been teaching me that sometimes you can test how much you are really doing like Jesus by the amount of hardships you endure from other believers. (I dont know if thats "Bibilical" but its a Biblical observation on my part) Hardships in the form of people saying,"You shouldn't be doing that..." or "I dont think that its right to... (etc., etc,)"

Valerie and I have been working with a group of young adults for about a year already as well as "adopting" 3 kids ages 6, 15 and 19. When I say "adopting" I dont mean like through the state or anything. I mean that they have adopted me as a parent and in turn I have taken them into my home and treat them as if they were my very own children, God children if you will. Children who are looking for someone to take care of them, to watch out for them and teach them the very things they yearn to know so that they can follow God with all their hearts and truly be young men and women that know Christ.

There are three roles to help them fulfill in this situation. One is to know God as their ultimate Father and to put their needs in his hands. Two is to not let them identify me as their REAL parent and not take the place of their actual parents. Third, and lastly, to show them and care for them as a father should and to actually become a father to them for years to come. Which means I am now responsible for fulfilling this call and not treating it as something I do on the weekdays or after hours. Because to do that would be fake... and these kids want something real... for Val and I to live out the requests that these children are screaming with everything in them... WHY DOES NOBODY WANT ME!!! and WHERE ARE MY PARENTS WHEN I NEED THEM... WHO WILL TEACH ME AND TAKE CARE OF ME... or do I just raise myself and learn how to be a man or woman on my own.

I feel that for a long time that's what kids have been doing and are doing right now. Especially the ones that "come to Christ" from broken homes. We as believers trust that God will take care of these kids and they will come out alright in the end. I know that's what I did for a minute. People said I needed accountability or a mentor... and man... That's hard to find. It's not that I didn't ask people, or that there weren't men around capable of being a mentor, it's that nobody would answer the call I was making.

The reason I'm even writing this is blog is to say and question somethings. I guess like venting but to help me see clearer. I heard at a conference awhile back that a good way to measure how much we are really walking like Christ at times is to see how much noise we're making (Im summarizing in my own words). That we can do alot of "good" and "kind" things and most people will applaud that. But when you start tapping into the root of some problems and going against the grain people start giving their opinions about it. Again just look at Jesus and his life here on earth, shoot look at the his disciples... offending people left and right. Now I havent gotten beat up yet... but Im getting to the point again in life where I want to get beat up. lol...

(The following incidents all revolve around me and val trying to be "parents" to youth)

The other day I tried to do something for someone (invest some time into them) and ran into a wall that I had to walk away from. But, I really wanted to just do something kind for others. Like spend my time and energy investing in this person... But in the end I saw what I call a PUSH... Like picture this. Im going in one direction and then I get pushed or shoved back by someone saying... naw... You dont need to do that. Its like a spiritual PUSH

Today even, someone told me that they didnt really agree with what I was doing and that they hoped the person I was helping would choose to do the opposite of what I was offering. I tried to say some more things about the subject and then again I got PUSHED... like... No, I think what you're offering is not right and I hope they dont take your offer. Wow...

They only reason Im not giving details on these situations is cause’ Im not really offended by the actual person, more the denial of me trying to do the right things, doing what Scripture tells me to do and being excited about it, only to get SHOVED in the face down to the ground, like GET BACK UP AND TRY AGAIN... cause you wont.. JUST QUIT!!! Is what the voice in my head sounds like.

In another incident two young adults we've been helping felt offended because they were told not to listen to me and my wife in a nutshell because we weren't really knowledgeable in certain areas. And it followed by ideas that person and others thought they should do. It was almost like someone went behind our backs to help people we were helping in a sense. It didnt feel like that, but it just looked like that in a way. Almost like Satan running on the other side of the street sticking his tongue out saying, "Im gonna go tell them your an idiot!!! You should quit helping everyone!" There was more to that situation, but in relation to this story that’s how it felt. See the people helping or offering their help are not to blame, its Satan. Because he wants everything to fail, the relationships we have with others, our dreams, The Lord’s plans… everything.

So what Im trying to say is this...

I KNOW IM ON THE RIGHT PATH, because people are not fully running along side patting me on the back. They are actually doing the opposite of what I'm use to... At first it was hard to understand. Why would this be happening. But The Bible doesn’t talk about good things always happening, OH YEA we'll be blessed but what sacrifices do we endure, what do we give up. I have not gone to the point of shedding blood, I have not endured so much that Im all alone and Im not being cursed by the entire world for the things I'm doing. Im not even close…

To end, Please be in prayer for me and my family. House of Faith has purchased an old headstart/nunery in the barrio with the help of the Diocese in our city that will soon be our new home. The plan is to do more of what we've been doing through House of Faith and out of our own home, be parents to children and youth without parents. And like I said, I think God is showing us that YES, this is the direction he's leading us in. At first the task will be to just move in and get the place set up but after that is to decide what is God calling House of Faith to set up. Is it a home for boys, girls, boys over 18, a foster home... Then to act on it.

Like traditional House of Faith style the moto is to not start there (the big dream) but to start in on home (backyard) with a few kids. Teach them to live for the Lord and just be part of what God is doing.

Again this was written as thoughts... so I might go back and change some stuff as I re-read what Ive posted... Blessings. Lord help me to know you more. We are excited about what God is doing in our lives and home right now.